"That which does not kill you, makes you stronger". I think we have all heard that one. However, I don't think we really realize the difference - between what actually will kill us and what merely is uncomfortable and serves to make us stronger.

So much focus these days is on "no pain, no gain", that many of us have disconnected from our own basic needs.

We think we are being tough by overriding our own signals.

Heck, painkillers are the most popped medication - so obviously we are not very good dealing with pain. Of course not, pain is a sign that something is wrong. We just ignore it like the plague and mask it. Hoping for it to magically go away, because we are busy "proving ourselves". And then we need years of therapy to reconnect with ourselves - oh the irony.

Humans is the only specie that will engage in activities to actively self-destruct in attempt to be more lovable.

The gap between who we are and who we want to be, is what motivates most of us to grow.

Some of us choose methods that change us by killing us - physically, emotionally and spiritually.

We will accept years of killing ourselves through dangerous dieting methods and disordered eating behaviors to be just a little bit prettier, a little bit skinnier... so that we might be lovable.

We will accept staying in abusive relationships, because it feeds into our negative self-talk that we are nothing.

We will accept being abused by a boss that overworks us, sacrificing our personal life. Only to find that everything suddenly shatters - whether that be divorce, burnout or heart attack. We do this, in hopes of that we can prove ourselves worthy, resilient... and at some childlike level there exists a hunger to prove ourselves lovable.

We will accept the consequences of taking drugs, because they make us more carefree, and we don't have to deal with who we are. It is like a free ride out of an emotionally challenging reality. But free it is not. Rather like selling your soul to the devil for one minute's peace.

And at some point, we might want to ask ourselves: Is this the change I am looking for?

If not, we might want to reconsider our purpose and perspective in life. Why do we do the things we do?

Perhaps consider another approach to getting what it is we so desperately want. Because everyone has limits, and no one is unbreakable.

What breaks us will, in fact, just break us.