ELEMENTS OF RECOVERY

How to break food, drug and alcohol addictions, bite by bite.

The real secret to getting what we want.

February 15, 2018 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Management, Faith

Most of us are busy trying not to get rejected. When we don't risk rejection, we blend into the many shades of depressing gray that makes up the sky of hazy february. Greatness is standing out. Greatness is daring rejection. Only what I give to you can I have myself. The spiritual field is opposite that of the material. And this is the key. Instead of wanting, we need to create abundance from a mustard grain of faith. If I want kindness, I need to be it. If I want love, I need to give it.Everything is faith based in the spiritual realm and nothing is ours til we give it freely.

Return of investments.

January 23, 2018 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Self-Worth, Transformation Keys

If we have unrequited affection for someone it is emotional masochism. You cannot love someone who doesn't love you - that is merely obsession and infatuation at best. And well, at worst, we are busy realizing our childhood trauma of never feeling good enough, lovable and so forth. Why we unconsciously seek out people who will confirm our automated negative selv-talk. And because we are comfortable with our own trashtalk and believe this to be true about ourselves - that we are not worth it - we stay, we endure and hang on like a cat to the curtain tails. It is painfully pathetic.

The sweet addiction of victimization.

December 14, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Body Image, Anxiety, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Trauma + Abuse

I can't stand the #metoo campaign sweeping over us at the moment. It is toxic to both men and women alike. And I absolutely do not feel empowered as a female by this sort of feminist-wannabe campaign. On the contrary, I feel victimized, disempowered, pathetic and weak. I feel as if I am literally being brainwashed into believing, I cannot say no to anyone challenging my standards.

The feedback-loop

August 24, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Body Image, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Self-Worth, Transformation Keys

We mirror people we like, as it shows them that we respect them and also a certain level of admiration. If their response is favorable to us mirroring them, then they will also typically mirror us. This makes us feel like we are in rapport. We feel safe. This may not necessarily be the case - especially if we are both being people pleasing.

Drowning.

August 17, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Management, Faith

It is a funny thing in life. Oftentimes we spend so much time in the mud, that we think we are drowning. When the only thing we need to do is to stand up. The water is rarely more than an inch and yet we lie facedown, drowning in only an inch of water and dirt. It often doesn't require much to change the path we are on, if it leads to nowhere. Yet in our mind we make it out to be quicksand. How do we save each other when we can't even master the simple task of saving ourselves? How do we experience the freedom we so long for, if we constantly choose to remain in the chains that comes with addiction? Why do we make things so complicated, when fact is, we always have the option to just stand up and walk away. Walk away from what doesn't serve us anymore. And yet, how many of us ever look up to see that there is another way than how we have been living our life in denial? Imagine if breaking the chains of addiction was as simple as standing up and walking away. And maybe it is - when we want something bad enough, we will find a way - we will make a way. Faith is the only thing that separates us.

You're so needy!

August 10, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Self-Worth

There are generally two types of people when it comes to neediness. There are those of us who pretend to not have any needs, not need anyone, to be completely and utterly self-reliant. Lies. And then there are those of us, who are constantly demanding some sort of "hit" to feel validated. Please like me.

"I can't reject you, you're too quick for me", she said.

July 27, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Transformation Keys

In the movie Pay It Forward there is a scene where Helen Hunt says to Kevin Spacey, "I can't reject you, you're too quick for me". Kevin Spacey has some emotional stuff from his past that causes him to have intimacy issues with getting close to anyone incl. Helen. I thought this was a poignant reminder of how we tend to unconsciously exhibit the very behavior towards ourselves - and quite often also towards others - that we fear the most.

What does addiction look like?

July 20, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Anorexia, Anxiety, Binge Eating, Body Image, Bulimia, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Management, Transformation Keys

Sometimes we think that addiction is the stereotype presented to us in movies. We see the husband that suddenly goes bankrupt and his beautiful wife leaves him. So he is left in the gutter with stubbles and a bottle of Jack. We also see the drug addict as the person with one too many tattoos, portrayed as scarily gaunt, getting their money from shady business and spending their weekends at raves. These stereotypes are not what addiction usually looks like. Many addicts are high-functioning. Addiction is incredibly common amongst CEOs and people who need to keep up the pace of a life that is based on money, power and relentless ambition. Someone who is high-functioning will still have a job, maintain relationships and have their money matters in order. The high-functioning addict will appear to have their life together.

"Don't eat that", he said.

June 29, 2017 by Christina Santini in Body Image, Depression, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Self-Worth, Transformation Keys

"Don't eat that. Stop.", he said as he smacked the back of her hand, reaching for the bread basket. Oh man. I wish I was making this stuff up. But no. A very good friend of mine from New York dated this guy for 2 - not minutes, hours, days, weeks or, heck, even months but 2 full years. Now this may seem like an innocent little thing to say. Although I think I would bite the hand of any person trying to keep me away from the bread basket.

After the break-up.

June 07, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Transformation Keys

So last week we went through 4 celebs that struggled addiction and found recovery. Well, it's not a secret that Jon Hamm went through a breakup with his longtime girlfriend in 2015. In his recent interview with InStyle he states that, "being single sucks". This being 2 years post his breakup, he is going through some tough stuff no doubt. Considering Jon Hamm's past issues with addiction, it's times like these that will show whether he has come out on the other side or not. He is such a brilliant actor so let's hope so. Anyone who's gone through a breakup regardless of being okay with separating ways and all, still knows what type of unavoidable nutty trainwreck you turn into in the time following. Yeah no, that's never fun. Add to that addicts have a very low pain tolerance level and you got yourself a nice little relapse setting.

Medication-Assisted Treatment for addiction - does it work?

May 31, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Biochemistry Balancing, Depression, Emotional Management

Substituting one addiction for another does not break the fundamental chains of addiction. It is well-known in the addiction field, that if we do not master to rewire our brain to find new paths of pleasure, relapse is only a feeling away.

We cannot drug our way out of addiction.

That said, instead of going cold-turkey (which taps right into our black-white addictive thinking), it might prove very useful to take it step-by-step and beginning our journey into recovery by substituting our primary drug of choice for a secondary. Substitution can be an important player in helping us not getting overwhelmed by the intense withdrawal that often leave us completely drained, lethargic and quite often suicidal. But what does the science say about medication-assisted treatment for addiction?

It is not our duty to be attractive to society.

April 19, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Transformation Keys, Emotional Management

Often we think of addiction as if there is something wrong with us. As if somehow we are just not made for this life. As if somehow we have not been equipped to deal with the pain, the hurt, the losses and whatever else, we inevitably will encounter through a lifetime in this fragile, paper-thin skin we are in. I don't think that's the case. People who struggle with addiction are not broken. Those of us who struggle with addiction are simply reacting to the many facades and masks, that we tend to wear to fit into a sick society.

Please like me.

April 13, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Emotional Management, Eating Disorders, Intimacy, Transformation Keys

One of the most freeing things in life is to be able to discover other people for what they are, without worrying about whether they like us. However, few of us are willing to like someone without there being a clear indication that the other party will like us back. That's risk-avoidance behaviour and ultimately not very satisfactory - because we hold back how we feel to avoid rejection.

All the small things.

April 05, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Emotional Management, Self-Worth, Transformation Keys

I was grabbing the metro the other day. And as it so often happens, everyone makes their way in one big mass and stops right in front of the metro doors, not really allowing people to get out, before they push their own way in. One of the truly most mind-boggling behaviors. And I swear, it must be the same people who never pick up their dog shit either, so the streets now look more like a public restroom for the four-legged than anything fit for humans.

Feeling irritable? Try Roman chamomile.

March 29, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Biochemistry Balancing, Emotional Management, Natural Medicine

I am a big fan of Roman chamomile. Not just chamomile tea, but the actual essential oil Roman chamomile. The essential oil is much more powerful than the tea of it. It has a soothing effect on the body and mind and is scientifically shown to target apigenin that binds to benzodiazepine receptors in the brain which makes for a calming sensation without any side-effects. This makes it especially valuable for those dealing with irritation, impatience and feeling disagreeable aka moody.

Insatiable.

March 23, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Anorexia, Binge Eating, Bulimia, Eating Disorders, Emotional Management, Transformation Keys

"I am afraid of my own desire. That I am insatiable," she said. "There is a part of me that is always hungry. And I feel I must keep it hidden, so that it does not unleash all of a sudden". This quote is taken from a client suffering from Anorexia. I think quite a few of us can relate to being scared of showing our needs.

The 6 Sensing Aspects of Food

March 15, 2017 by Christina Santini in Biochemistry Balancing, Emotional Management, Intuitive Eating, Superfoods In Recovery, Stress Tools

Sweetness helps to cool the system. Sweet natural foods generally help to rebuild tissue and nourish us. These foods feel calming when we are stressed or feeling "fire". The key here is to choose blood sugar balancing meals that are rich in fats yet contain the sweet flavor to provide the cooling sensation. When we eat isolated sweetness in the form of carbs, we experience a quick relief that may feel like it is cooling, but because it is not sustainable due to fluctuating blood sugar, we quickly gain more fire once our blood sugar drops once again.

An exercise in letting go.

February 15, 2017 by Christina Santini in Transformation Keys, Emotional Management

This is an exercise inspired from native Indians and their fire ceremony - it is a sacred ceremony for growth to happen, and just very helpful in identifying what we need to let go of and making a conscious decision to do so.

Letting go of what doesn't serve us anymore.

February 08, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Emotional Management, Transformation Keys

With addiction there is always this inability to let go of our own past issues, traumas, personal hang-ups, lack of self-confidence and things that no longer serve us. In other words: addiction is the attachment to our current place of pain. The pain of change stems from our fear of losing something - our attachment to stuff, perceptions and excuses. How do we let go of stuff?

How do we manage anxiety?

December 07, 2016 by Christina Santini in Binge Eating, Addictions, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Management, Transformation Keys

In the Noonday Demon Andrew Soloman writes, " Depression is a response to past loss, anxiety is a response to future loss". However, the two states often feel similar. This is because anxiety and depression share a single set of genes. This set of genes lies close to the genes involved in alcoholism and certain eating disorders.